By Debbie Gardner
dgardner@thereminder.com
How’s your friendship meter? Are you full to the brim with supportive social connections, or have time and situations started to drain your reserve?
If you find yourself in the latter category, it’s not surprising. It seems making and maintaining friendships gets harder as we age.
For a look at why this happens and what you can do to foster new connections Prime reached out to a local expert, Deb Bibbins, CEO of the Simsbury, Connecticut-based nonprofit, For All Ages. With a mission to “empower people to build real connections that transform health and life outcomes,” For All Ages makes fostering friendships within and across generations a priority of its work.
Here are the insights Bibbins shared about making and maintaining social connections as we age.
Q: It seems that it gets harder to make friends as we age. What are the factors that contribute to this phenomenon?
As we age, our daily routines and social circles naturally narrow. We retire from workplaces that once provided built-in social interaction. Children grow up, friends move away, and health or mobility challenges can make it harder to get out. Many adults also become more selective with their time and energy. None of this means we can’t make new friends; it simply means we often have fewer automatic opportunities than we had earlier in life.
Q: Why is it so important to keep making — and maintaining — friendships as we age?
Friendship is essential to our health and well-being. Strong, reliable social connections reduce loneliness, strengthen our immune systems, protect our brains, and lower the risk of depression, dementia, and even premature death. Friends also give us something just as important: a trusted support system. They offer advice, perspective, and encouragement when we’re navigating life changes or tough decisions. They help us celebrate joys, weather challenges, and stay engaged with our communities. The science is clear: human connection is a powerful form of preventive care for health and well-being at every age.
Q: Is there a “magic” number of friends individuals should strive for to maintain optimum well-being?
There isn’t a magic number. What matters most is having a few trusted people you can turn to — people who make you feel seen, supported, and valued. For some, that’s two or three close friends; for others, it’s a mix of close relationships and a wider circle of casual, friendly connections. Quality and consistency matter far more than quantity.
Q: If you need to work on expanding your circle of friends, what are some ways to get started?
Start with small, intentional steps. Here are four ways to make new friends:
Q: What about online friendships? Are they as beneficial as in-person relationships?
Online friendships can be meaningful and supportive, especially when they bring us into regular conversation with people who care about us. But digital interactions work best as a supplement, not a substitute. Our brains and bodies respond most strongly to face-to-face connection where we can hear a voice, see facial expressions, and share experiences. It’s also important to be cautious when befriending someone online for the first time and to take the time to get to know them safely. Whenever possible, moving an online friendship into the real world can make it even more rewarding.
Q: Are there advantages to having friends from different age groups? How hard is it to make friends outside our normal age group?
Friends of different ages bring fresh perspectives, different life experiences, and a broader sense of meaning. For older adults, connecting with younger people gives us the opportunity to share our wisdom and experience, which can provide a powerful sense of purpose. Intergenerational relationships strengthen empathy, reduce ageism, and help us feel more rooted in community.
It can feel unfamiliar at first, but it’s not as hard as people think. When we connect through shared interests or shared purpose (volunteering or learning something new, for instance), the age gap fades quickly.
Q: And lastly, a tricky question … sometimes friendships don’t fit us anymore. Is it ever ok to let a friend go, even in our older years?
Yes. Relationships evolve, and so do we. It’s absolutely okay to create distance from a friendship that no longer feels healthy, reciprocal, or respectful. Letting go doesn’t mean the relationship had no value — it simply means it’s run its course. The key is to release it with kindness and to make space for relationships that support who you are today.
I hope readers feel encouraged to nurture existing friendships and seek new connections. Strong social relationships support our health and well-being, bring purpose to our days, and enrich our life at every age. I encourage people to visit For All Ages’ website at www.forallages.org to learn about our programs and events that give people the tools, opportunities, and support to build lasting friendships.