Working to make gratitude a part of everyday life

PRIME – August 2013 By Debbie Gardner debbieg@thereminder.com I've been inspired by a columnist. So inspired, in fact, that you'll find this issue's Prime Sleuth question – that contest we offer every month that rewards a lucky winner with a restaurant gift certificate – focuses on the writer's message. The columnist is a relative newcomer to PRIME, Dr. Victor Acquista, who is a partner in the Collaborative for Community Medicine in Palmer, Mass. and an integral medicine practitioner – someone who advocates the combination of practices and methods of alternative medicine with evidence based medicine to achieve the best outcome for patients. Presently chief medical officer at the Fort Bayard Medical Center in Santa Clara, N. M., Acquista writes for PRIME on a fairly regular basis, examining topics that take a holistic look at better health. His column this month, which you will find here, is on gratitude and the positive effect this attitude of thankfulness can have on an individual's health and wellbeing. Acquista's column is not the first time I've come across information promoting the importance of expressing gratitude in everyday life. I recall Oprah – yes, I used to watch the Oprah Winfrey show in the afternoons when my then-toddler son was napping – advocating that viewers keep a gratitude journal as a way to remind themselves of the positive things happening in their lives. I think I tried keeping the journal for a few days, perhaps even a week, before the demands of parenting a newly adopted child, plus a part-time job, began to consume my precious personal time. I know all the moms out there can relate. But I'd been thinking about that concept of being grateful for the small blessing of life again, even before Dr. Acquista's column popped up in my email. There's no question that day-to-day living is a bit more difficult for almost everyone now than it was it the flush and plush years of the 1990s and early 2000s. Just ask anyone if their paycheck – or retirement funds – stretch as far as they used to. Costs continue to go up at the gas pump, the supermarket, the pharmacy, even the movie theater. Emergency food pantries continue to report an increase in client visits, and those clients are often faces that they have not seen before. We've all had friends or relatives who have been downsized and struggled to find a new job. Like so many others, I have younger colleagues and relatives who are burdened by the debt necessary to fund their education. In the face of all this, it's easy, almost natural, for people to become discouraged, to feel angry, to even act bitter. All the more reason, Acquista's column suggests, to adopt an attitude of gratitude. "Grateful people tend to be more optimistic," Acquista points out. "In a world of uncertainty, this attitude of gratitude helps us to cope with the wiles and vicissitudes of life." Boy, isn't that the kind of boost we could all use some days? At the Gardner household, we're trying to put an attitude of gratitude into practice. After reading Acquista's column, I suggested we take a few minutes at dinner – yes, I insist that we all sit down together to eat, even if sometimes dinner is peanut butter sandwiches at 4 p.m. before we rush off to a team practice – to talk about something we are grateful for from the day. It's not the first time I've tried something like this. When my son Evan was just learning how to eat dinner at the table, we used to have a ritual where each of us had to share what had been the best part of our day. Then, it was a way to help a little boy learn to converse at a meal. Now, I'm looking at this exchange as something with a deeper meaning. Given all that seems out of whack with the world now, it's easy to forget the things for which we are fortunate – from a good cup of coffee to a beautiful sunset to the chance to spend another day with an ill loved one. It isn't easy – some nights one of us will struggle to come up with something we can say we are grateful for. But I'm not giving up. Evan is now a teenager and, as fellow parents know, they are notorious for thinking of their own needs before those of others. I'm weary of having to say "no" to so many things, I'm hoping that taking small steps toward an attitude of gratitude will make us all a little happier with life in 2013.