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Founder of suicide loss support group honored

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Mary Pat McMahon spoke at the Hometown Heroes Awards dinner in February.

PRIME photo by George Skovera

PRIME — March 2012 Mary Pat McMahon of West Springfield lauded for community service By Mike Briotta PRIME Editor After Mary Pat McMahon's 23-year-old son Matthew committed suicide in 1991, her family faced not only the loss of a loved one, but another emotional void. In the following days, weeks and months of turmoil, she sought in vain for an area support group that helps families affected by suicide, or a local chapter of a suicide prevention organization. Finding neither in Western Massachusetts, she did what few people would have the strength to do: McMahon eventually took charge of starting both. Her local support group Survivors of Suicide Loss continues to meet twice monthly at Forastiere Funeral Home in East Longmeadow. An outreach program based on the group, which officially began in 1993, is now a national program that visits, upon invitation, someone who has suffered a loss due to suicide. McMahon, of West Springfield, would go on to found the Western Massachusetts chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention [AFSP], serving Hampden, Hampshire, Franklin and Berkshire counties. The local chapter meets at Baystate Medical Center every three months. The roots of her community service first began when Mary Pat and her husband Jack would get phone calls at home asking for help, and they would travel to peoples' homes in the area for support after a suicide. "I would visit them and tell them what I learned; what I did," she said. "Sometimes you just want to hear from people who have walked in your shoes. This is your peer group." As a result of her ongoing efforts to help those dealing with suicide, McMahon was honored as a 2011 William Pynchon Medal winner and 2012 Hometown Hero award winner from Reminder Publications. "After Matt died I did some research the first year about support groups," she recalled. "When I asked a therapist about support groups for this issue, he pointed me to a professor at UMASS who had compiled a large manual, a listing of all kinds of support groups: from Overeater's Anonymous to many others I had never heard of." She continued, "At the time, there wasn't even a [suicide survivors] support group around here. There was just one, in Boston, for homicide and suicide — nothing local. So my therapist said, 'How would you feel about starting a support group yourself?'" The therapist, Jonathan Taylor, is a licensed social worker who still practices in the area. McMahon added, "He helped me to facilitate a monthly meeting. I took out an ad in the Springfield paper saying basically that if you've lost someone you love to suicide please call. Well, I got calls. It started right here in my family room. Looking back, I suppose it seems kind of surprising now that I would invite total strangers into my home for the meetings. After three to four months, we started to look for a place that was more appropriate." The support group moved to the Baptist Church in West Springfield, meeting once a month for a couple of years there. The group now meets at Forastiere funeral home. Although suicide among teens and young people often gets the most attention in the media, it is certainly not an issue only facing the young. Right before PRIME sat down to interview McMahon, news came out that Don Cornelius, the 75-year-old "Soul Train" creator, had committed suicide. Avant-garde Lost Angeles artist Mike Kelley, who died at age 57, was another victim of suicide this year. And at press time, the magazine learned that 61-year-old actor Daniel Von Bargen of "Seinfield" as well as other TV shows and movies had attempted suicide because of depression due to ongoing diabetes complications and surgeries. According to the AFSP, the latest mortality statistics show that the suicide rate is trending upward, especially among people in the middle years of life. It's a stigmatized subject that affects regular people: perhaps your friends, family, and co-workers. McMahon said that many of her group's volunteers have been directly impacted by a suicide among family or friends, prompting them to reach out and help the community. "This was born out of an enormous loss for almost everybody," she said. "Most suicides occur due to untreated mental illness: depression or bipolar disorder. By 2020, depression will be among the leading disorders in the world. That's not according to me, but the World Health Organization [WHO]." Depression is a common mental disorder that presents with depressed mood, loss of interest or pleasure, feelings of guilt or low self-worth, disturbed sleep or appetite, low energy, and poor concentration. These problems can become chronic and lead to substantial impairments in an individual's ability to take care of his or her everyday responsibilities. At its worst, depression can lead to suicide, a tragic fatality associated with the loss of about 850,000 lives every year, according to the WHO. "It's like any other illness; it's treatable," McMahon said. "An illness does not have to be fatal. I want to encourage people to talk about it — families, friends, and co-workers. As much as possible, I want to 'normalize' these kinds of conversations." While treatments are available, it is estimated that fewer than 25 percent of those affected receive treatment for depression. Barriers to effective care include the lack of resources, lack of trained providers, and the social stigma associated with mental disorders including depression. Emboldened by success in starting a support group, McMahon broadened her scope to include local representation from the national AFSP. "I went to a conference in New York called the AFSP," she said. "I thought, 'This is pretty good, people are dealing with this.' I met someone from Boston and we started building an affiliation. They were interested in having a conference at WNEC, mostly volunteers. This was in the mid-90s and it was the first conference I helped to plan." McMahon added, "The AFSP was a tiny nonprofit organization. They invited me to join the board of directors, and I eventually became chairman of the board." McMahon was on the national board for nine years, through 2008. "Five years ago, we started out own local chapter," she said. Although the workload is easily 40 hours per week, she said that the compensation comes not financially but from helping others. "When people say, 'Thank you for being there, you helped me,' that's your reward." Her local AFSP chapter has also funded the production of two recent films to be shown in schools. Education and community outreach are two main tenets of her mission. "Education is vital, because suicide can be one result of untreated mental illness." Circa 2000, McMahon helped to start a local benefit walk, an event that continues to bring awareness to the subject each year. "The first year, we had 15 people," McMahon said. "This year, we had 1,500." The "Out of the Darkness" walk will take place Sept. 30 this year, starting and ending at the MassMutual Center in downtown Springfield. The annual walk is the chapter's one fund-raiser for the year, however no donation is required to walk. "Everyone can come," she said. "We ask that people form a team and walk in honor of someone facing depression, in memory of someone, or if they have depression themselves." This November, the 14th Annual International Survivors of Suicide Day will be hosted at Elms College. It's an event that entails a full day of workshops, including a presence from the local AFSP chapter. It is traditionally presented the Saturday before Thanksgiving, and includes panelists such as mental health experts and family members affected by suicide. "When you never hear the word 'suicide,' you realize there's a stigma attached to it. You just don't hear much about it," McMahon said. "It's not a comfortable subject. Hopefully we can ease the pain of a loss for those people who have lost a loved one. Mental illness can be treated, but you have to talk about it. You have to move past the discomfort and stigma." She concluded, "Our goal is to educate everybody about this. I want people to know how important the subject is. Depression and mental illness walk next to us every day. Notice behavioral changes and talk about them. If you think someone may be suicidal, ask them if they are thinking about hurting themselves. Ask if you can help. Suicide is almost always violent, and it's hard to discuss. But it's something we have to start talking about." PRIME For more information about Survivors of Suicide Loss support group, Mary Pat McMahon may be reached by e-mail at marypatm@comcast.net or by phone at (413) 734-9139. To become a volunteer with your local AFSP chapter, please call Linda at 788-7420, the main office at 800-979-AFSP. Visit the Web site www.afsp.org for additional details.