By G. Michael Dobbs
By nature, I am a very conflicted person. I suppose I can blame it on being a Gemini, but I’m sure it’s probably not that.
Being a reporter much of my life, I have a deep layer of cynicism. For instance, I love dark and subversive humor. Most of my comic heroes – from W.C. Fields to the Marx Brothers to Monty Python – challenge the status quo with humor. My literary heroes from George Orwell and Sinclair Lewis to Don Marquis, Ambrose Bierce and Mark Twain all have a dark side. Some are darker than others, but all have that streak.
I see a lot of questionable motives and polices while covering local politics. I actually was so disgusted by the puffery at one governmental meeting – I keep the name anonymous to protect the guilty – that I walked out of the meeting room just to gain some self-control.
On Facebook, I’m constantly biting my tongue when I post. I’m aware of the implications if I actually speak my mind so I don’t. If I do venture into that territory, I temper my remarks knowing they could backfire on me.
At the same time, I’m soft as grape when it comes to certain things. I’m deeply, almost embarrassing, sentimental. Seeing a family photo that revives a memory, hearing a certain song, or watching a movie that spurs memories are all triggers to my having misty eyes.
As much as politics can anger me, I’m a true believer. I religiously vote and genuinely hope for a government built on consensus. I want our elected officials to be worthy of our support.
So yes, I have a problem. I’ve been living with it for years.
New Year’s is, of course, a hard time for someone like me. It is a time of hope, renewal, and another chance. Didn’t get done something you meant to in 2020? 2021 beckons with the promise of more time, more opportunity. With the vaccine for the pandemic now arriving, I’m daring to think about how certain aspects of our lives will return to normal.
And with my dual nature, I always see a New Year like that. This time of year, I’m thinking of what I need to do in the coming 12 months and what I want to do in the coming 12 months.
I know what my work year is going to be like or at least I have enough of a road map to guess.
It’s the personal side that inspires both hope and dread.
Some of those items are the usual ones. I was regularly going to the gym before COVID and want I to get back to that. Despite the fact I’m not a big exercise guy, I did appreciate feeling better.
I need to cook more and eat out less. If I do order out, I need to make better choices.
I’m trying to keep my cigar and brown liquor habit to one each a week. Thanks to the events of the day, I find additional cigars have been a necessity.
I want to do a better job with the vegetable garden this year, in fact I’m thinking of tearing up more lawn and putting more space in the back yard into production.
Finally, and most importantly, there is a book project – the first in a two-volume effort – that is almost done and will be completed by the end of January. I hope.
Let’s raise a glass – yes, brown liquor is acceptable here – to 2021 and the hope it brings. Let’s all work in making sure the potential the year provides for all of us is not squandered. Let’s not beat ourselves up about what we aren’t able to accomplish, but congratulate ourselves on what we can get done. Every victory, no matter how small, should be celebrated.
You see, that’s one side of me. I’ll let Mark Twain, undoubtedly as conflicted as I am, represent my other side and have the final word about the New Year: “Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.”
G. Michael Dobbs is the managing editor of Reminder Publishing LLC, and Prime’s local columnist.
