Strengthening the relationship

Nancy's story... "This is the second marriage for both of us . Hot romance in the beginning, now, ten years later, we avoid retiring at the same time. Frankly, there is so little communication between us we're sleeping in the same bed but feel miles apart. Sexually I have withdrawn almost completely. I have been experiencing great discomfort during intercourse and now sex is a burden rather than a joy. I keep inventing excuses and then feel guilty about it. We both have been avoiding reality for years. Recently I found out that my husband was seeing another woman. I felt like I was falling off a cliff. I'm filled with fear about losing him. It's so overwhelming, I feel paralyzed." Jacqui's take... Years of missed communication and repressed feelings can deaden any relationship. Eventually, partners feel so far apart that though they live under the same roof and share the same bed, they have become emotional strangers. Can this gulf between them ever be healed? A catharsis like the one Nancy experienced can spark a reversal in the relationship. However, rebuilding a relationships is a slow and difficult process, one that's often easier to achieve with the help of a professional marriage counselor. A turnaround can only happen if both partners are totally committed to rebuilding the relationship. Each must take responsibility for the behavior he or she contributed that caused the erosion of the relationship. Both partners must find the courage to let go of the accumulated anger toward each other and be able to forgive. Without a clean emotional slate, love and caring cannot blossom. Self evaluation and the acceptance of responsibility for one's actions is step one. Opening up to each other through frequent and caring communication is step two. Accusatory phrases such as "you always" have no place in this process. Don't look to the other to change, seek change in yourself. It is the only way that little by little friendship, trust and even loving can be reestablished. Sexual desire often follows. -Jacqui E-mail Jacqui your question: contact.veryprivate@gmail.com Visit: www.veryprivate.com. We never reveal or give out names or addresses. 2007 Brandwynne Corp. All rights reserved.