She's an upbeat person.he's not . can their love survive?

A couple's dilemma Veronica is a fairly happy person. Both feet on the ground, she starts each day with the anticipation that something wonderful will happen, and it usually does. "I am not talking about major events" she said. "I create those little daily attainable delights that make my life happy; sharing a meal with friends or playing ball with my four-paw, the saddest little rescue dog I adopted that gives me daily oodles of joy and love. My life, like most peoples', is not without a number of big problems." Her boyfriend, Cal, is a good-hearted man and a person of integrity. She cares for him deeply. Yet his negativity, his criticism of himself and others and his cynical, needle-sharp comments keep piercing Veronica's "balloon of happiness" and have deflated her feelings of love over time. "Instead of savoring the little treats of life together; a walk through the park at dusk, a beach party with friends, a cup of tea while listening to magical music together, [all the] little and more intricate events I plan and always mindful of what he likes, he torpedoes just about every experience usually just as we are starting out," she said. "Feeling hurt over and over again, I recently spent several hours quietly reflecting on my life. I recognized, sadly, that the generally happy me has turned into generally deflated, unhappy me. My joy of life has gone." Relationships take work Veronica has a good sense what makes a relationship work. Indeed, those myriad small joys in everyday life together are the glue that binds a solid relationship. Shared pleasurable experiences strengthen feelings of closeness and build a bank of good memories. Positive partnering, however, depends on good communication. Without setting aside ten good minutes for each other every day for clear and honest talks, listening without interrupting each other and being there for each other completely and entirely, no relationship has the chance for a happy ending. Partners have to be able to make their true feelings known to each other without dishing out blame. In order to have a fruitful talk, each partner has to be quite clear as to what he or she believes has caused a problem. That means taking the time to think about things quietly beforehand. Sometimes writing about a problem or discussing it with a trusted third party are a way to achieve clarity. Only then can a heart-to-heart talk lead to understanding what each partner feels and wants. Making one's point of view clear does not mean you will get what you want. In many cases relationship disconnects cannot be bridged, especially when they seem to be caused by an unresolved emotional dynamic a partner brings to the party. Can this coupledom be saved? This seems to be the case in Veronica and Cal's relationship. Veronica seems a happy, well-adjusted person. Cal's actions indicate that he may not have come to terms with himself. Quite possibly, with counseling, he may overcome his issues. However, no partner can make up for a person's lack of confidence, lack of self respect, or lack of love. If Veronica has the patience to wait, and Cal has the courage to seriously address his problems, they may be able to both enjoy the gifts of daily life together again. Jacqui E-mail Jacqui your question: contact.veryprivate@gmail.com Visit: www.veryprivate.com